I've been thinking a lot recently about being selfless and how one can truly lose oneself in service to others. I've been trying to become more SELFLESS. As a missionary, there are so many unique opportunities to be selfless and the fulfillment that come from serving others is indescribable. Many nights, as Sister Betteridge and I have walked home we've gone on forever talking about the people we're working with and how excited we are for them. Since our last Mission Leadership Conference we've been writing visions out for each of our investigators...seeing them as God sees them. It's so wonderful thinking about and caring so much for someone else. I have so much love for these people!
But I've been catching myself, at times, mostly in the moments I feel most inadequate, worrying about my weaknesses. Sometimes I wonder if my understanding of the scriptures is good enough, if my explaining of certain principles in Tongan are clear enough, and if my dedication and love are strong enough. Although it's good to evaluate such things, I've learned that it's so important to remember: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. It's not about me. One of the 2016 youth songs sings about this...and it's really helped me keep a better perspective.
Our Faith must not be in ourselves but rather in the Savior. We must trust that if we do our best--give it all we have, we are enough! And this comes when we TURN OUTWARDS. As a missionary, if I think for a moment in fear, "Will I be able to explain this concept well enough?" My focus is not of the person I'm teaching and my faith is not in my Savior. The key is to do our best, work hard, and then have faith! This Life is about SERVING, LOVING, and LIFTING others. In our Baptismal Covenant, that we renew each week, we promise to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. how do we make those around us feel? Are we too worried about ourselves or do we turn outward and serve fellow men? How are we doing serving our Heavenly Father?
There are two girls, both about 20 years old, that we had started working with a while ago and although they were willing and excited about getting baptized, their parents were super against it. They ended up going to Tonga and getting baptized there...and now they've returned and so we're teaching them the follow-up lessons. They are absolutely WONDERFUL. Tioni, one of the girls (I think I talked about her in an earlier email..) she has changed so much and is such a light! When we were asking her about her baptized, she began to cry. And we all began to cry to. She described the feelings she felt and how she feels like a new person. She said she used to easily get angry at her sisters, but since her baptism she's prayed to be a light to them.
Transfers are happening next week and everyone keeps telling me I'm moving...sooo I guess we'll see what happens. I love this area and my companion and it'll break my heart leaving 'Eua but I am more than willing to go where the Lord wants me to.
Ofa Lahi Atu!